I’ve never missed anything more in my life.
I needed some time for myself.
I had to recover from the sick skull fucking stress.
To have some time to repair and find myself again.
It’s not that I didn’t want her in my life.
Yes, I may have thought about it and maybe even acted upon it for a bit.
I had believed maybe it was better off that way, but I never truly intended to put things to a complete halt.
I never wanted that.
I wasn’t healthy.
My mind wasn’t at ease.
I didn’t mean to hurt anyone or have people hate me.
Especially you.
I just wanted you to understand.
All I needed was some time.
I know you needed a good friend.
It was hard to say no to the invites.
It was hard to turn away.
The hardest decision of all was walking away when you were crying my name.
It killed me inside.
It’s burnt into my memory.
I wanted to walk back..
I know what I had done was probably the wrong way.
I didn’t know any other way.
I was so lost and hopeless.
I was sick, my mind wasn’t in the right place.
But I did it for our own good.
I just wanted you to be happy and I as well.
I wish you had understood.
I’ve never had such a close bond.
And yes, I do wish it were still here. Right now.
I can’t forget.
I’m reminded of it every day.
You’re probably so far down in life right now.
New people, new friends, new environment.
I’ve probably been forgotten.
But you haven’t in me.
I truly miss you my good old friend.
